Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Self Confidence: Your Inner Critic

Face it, we all have one. This little bug inside of us that nags and claws at what we say, do, look like, sound like... EVERYTHING. Our inner critic. Your inner critic is this voice inside of your head that judges and demeans your every move. Or... every move you allow it to judge and demean. A little self criticism can be a good thing to help you push forward. But constantly criticizing yourself? It's always a bad thing!

I'll be the first to admit, I used to purposely demean everything about myself. I used to think that picking at everything I would do was a way of motivating myself to be better at whatever it was I was demeaning. I thought of it as a way of "humbling" myself, when in fact, I was truly hurting myself. Per my new favorite book "The Secret", what you say and what you think about, you bring about. It sounds cliche, I know. Let me explain.

Your brain LITERALLY gives off an energy frequency. I know it sounds all scientific, but it's actually quite simple. That energy frequency is magnetic! Therefore, when you think about things and you feel things, you will attract more of it to you! Even if it's something you do not want! It's all in the Law of Attraction, which by the way, applies to EVERYTHING. Not just confidence. I will do a separate blog on the Law of Attraction, but go into minor detail about it here.

When you think negatively about yourself, not only do you attract more of those negative things, you also make people around you believe you attain those negative attributes as well, even though they may have not noticed it otherwise!

So with a simple, vague explanation of the Law of Attraction, you hopefully understand why having an inner critic can be so harmful.

Aside from keeping the Law of Attraction at the front of your mind, Here are a few simple tips to help you stop inner critic:

1) STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER... Of course we all want everyone to like us. We want everyone to think we are great, admirable and the like. Sometimes we want that so bad that we go against our own values, beliefs, or even put our responsibilities on hold so we can please other people. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with lending a helping hand or doing something out of the blue for someone that you know will help them. In fact, that's encouraged! But i'm talking about changing who we are to please other people. Does peer pressure sound familiar? You may not think you break under peer pressure, but occasionally we all do without even realizing it. You may not wear a certain shirt you like around your friend that you're meeting up with later because you know he/she thinks it's dorky. You may put off studying because your girlfriend/boyfriend is going to be upset with you if you don't see him/her tonight. But by doing these things that you have good intentions about, you are hurting yourself. You may start to get lower grades because you didn't study or start to lose your sense of self because you're only trying to wear things everyone else thinks is cute. But that's when your inner critic strikes! When you lose yourself by being a people pleaser, you will begin to lose your confidence.

2) THE POWER OF POSSIBLE THINKING... I hate to say this, I really do, but whenever i'm feeling down and someone's response to me about it is "Think positive", I end up feeling even worse. It's like someone telling you to just "get over it" when you're upset about something. Don't you think I would if I could? Instead of forcing myself to think positively which causes this internal lie detector to go off, telling me that I know I don't believe a thing that i'm saying to myself, I use the power of POSSIBLE thinking. Simply put, I think about the things which I know are possible! I'm a firm believer in the quote "Anything's possible". For example, let's say I said "I'm such a terrible public speaker." Using the power of possible thinking, I will say "I'm going to practice my public speaking and become great at it!" Practicing something because I realize there is a possibility to fix this "flaw", gives me more of an opportunity to genuinely shut out my inner critic and think better of myself.

3) BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR STRENGTHS... Going back to the Law of Attraction, being grateful for things attracts more of it! Not only will you get the negativity out of your mind, but you will draw more of what you want to you. Remember, everything in this world is made up of energy. Energy is on a magnetic frequency. Therefore, your thoughts are on a magnetic frequency. So your thoughts attract more of what you're thinking about. Even if it's negative. If you say "I hate that I don't have a lot of friends" you will attract that! Instead say, "I'm so grateful for the friends I do have." As per the law of the universe, you will have more friends! Gratitude for what you have and who you are attracts more of what you want. It's literally a scientific fact.

I truly do hope that helps. If any of you are interested in learning more about the Law of Attraction and why it's so important to silence your inner critic. "The Secret".

On that note, it's never too late to change your thought process!

Have a great day!

April Maroshick
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